Lust and Darkness

The girl has a dark skin – this is not her natural color, but rather a very uniform tan. She does not look French – more Spanish and she is not in a mood to meet with strangers.

Even though she is sitting, it is obvious that she is tall. She wears jean shorts and exhibits her long legs right in front of me. Although the dark colors of her clothing match her skin and dark hair, the blackness of her crude-looking shoes is unnecessary. From time to time she plays with one shoe, taking her heel out of it and swinging the shoe on her toes.

Her sleevless shirt is dark green with a pattern of violet and blue flowers on it. The shirt is tight and nicely wraps around her big, but very firm breasts.

Her hair is tied in a knot, as if she did not have time to groom it. But from the make-up on her face I guess that this casual look is intended.

She holds in her hands a dark-violet cell-phone and… a girly-pink mp-player, completely unmatching all her appearance. She lastfully strokes the mp-player with her thumb, probably in the rhyme with the music in her headphones. She stops doing this when she realizes that I am looking at her hands.

I know that I want to write  a story about her, but that I will not be able to stare at her for long at such a close distance. Therefore I give her a quick overall glance in a futile hope that I wll be able to reproduce her description from my visual memory. She notices my glance and shuts her knees together… but then realizes that she is being silly and slightly relaxes them.

I take my eyes away and look into the long space of the tram, trying to come up with a few sentences for my future story, which would solidify her image in my mind.

After a while I decide to take another brief look at her, and she immediately shuts her knees again. Well, enough – I am being too itimidating - I turn my back towards her an look into the other part of the tram.

How stupid of me! Is there a more sure way to scare a girl out of her wits than by showing so explicitely that I indeed consciously stared at her, but now want to disavow her supsicions? I would have done much better, if I continued staring – then, at least, she would think that I am some nerd, drooling over her sexy look.

I keep thinking about my story, and only a few minutes later, before exiting, turn to make sure that she is not exiting on the same station – I have a choice of two stations that are approximately the same distance from my home, and I would hate to make her think that I am following her.

My turn is met with a giggle – instead of the girl I see a scary-looking guy, a real bum, playing with his lighter and a piece of something dark brown. He is using the lighter to heat the brown thing in his fingers and split it into small pieces, which he then tries to stick into a cigarette that he pulled out of his pocket.

I raise my eyes and see that the girl is now sitting in another part of the tram, far from me. I wonder whether she escaped from me or from the guy – I did not here any sounds while my back was turned towards her. He is certainly more dangerous, just because he is clearly drunk or high, but girls are irrational creatures and my unexplainable behavior may be more intimidating.

I exit the tram and walk home. Half way, while turning around a corner, I notice the scary guy following me. I walk for a few meters, stop and turn in order to wait till he passes by. But I can’t see him anywhere.